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The first and most important person you must believe in is yourself.

– Toni Sorenson

Get Out Of My Way, I've A Flight To Catch...

So here I am on my way to see Lara, my daughter, who is studying Art in Newcastle – I’m not talking about County Down here. I’m talking wheels-up, jumping on a flight and city hoppin’ on outta here over to Newcastle upon Tyne.

Now I know you might be reading this and thinking, “So, she’s getting a flight on her own, what’s the big deal?” 
To me this is a huge deal! You see Nige and I have been together since we were 18 so there wasn’t a lot of time for self development and I fell into a pattern of co-dependency. Don’t get me wrong, most of the time I loved it! What’s not to love about feeling like a Princess? I was lifted and laid! Nige took care of everything. I never had to worry about anything, where the passports lived, what we were doing or where we were going and most of the time this worked beautifully. Nige loves certainty and taking care of details and I got used to relying on him to take care of all that stuff too. 

But, this is where we need to talk about co-dependency versus emotional support.
Nige did such a great job of looking after me and taking care of all of us that I found myself relying on him for everything and over time I guess I lost confidence in my own abilities. Through no fault of his, even though I love being in this partnership, I forgot that I’m actually a whole person capable of giving myself approval and permission. I used to literally follow him around the house seeking his approval! Dear God, when I think of it now – and it gets worse. 


When I didn’t get the approval I was after I would actually huff! So, you can see how this situation was less than ideal for both of us. 

My self worth was low. I was his other half, not my own person. Let me tell you I couldn’t have done this five years ago. I couldn’t have gone anywhere without him as I had become totally dependent on him. He was my world and I was just a weird co-dependent shell of myself. 

I like this version of me MUCH better. 

Fast forward to today, after a ton of work and a whole lot of money, I’m breezing through the airport with the waft of a confident, independent jet-setting lady.

Get out of my way, I’ve a flight to catch don’t you know? 
Got places to be and people to see!
I’m SO damn proud of myself. 

And Nige is proud of me too! 

He and the kids are still my world but now my own world and my self worth is SO much bigger, brighter and healthier than ever before.

He’s been on his own journey of self development but that’s a different story for a different day. 

We are now TWO whole people, building a beautiful relationship together.

Are You Ready To Invest In YOU?

 

New year, new you! What a better way to kick off 2023 than with another incredible retreat?

From Friday January the 20th 5pm to Sunday January the 22nd 5pm.

Hosted by Alexandra Sikiniotis (Health & Mindset Coach,Holistic PT, Nutrition, & Yoga), Lisa McFarland (Ireland’s Leading Relationship Coach), & Georgie King (Behavioural Therapist & Mindset Coach) who each have spent a lifetime investing in themselves in order to help others to grow. This is what they do. Drawing from their very unique areas of expertise they hope to deliver a retreat which speaks to the whole person.

The January Retreat is an investment in future self. Because there is no dress rehearsal. This is it, and you don’t want to waste another moment wondering if you are fulfilling your potential, doubting your existence, or living a life that doesn’t feel like it fits the shape of your soul.

Do you want more? More peace, more freedom, more inspiration, more growth, more healing, more confidence, more connection, more insight into your own heart and psyche?

The last few years have thrown us a real curve ball as a collective. For the most part we actually can’t control what happens around us. However, we can control how we respond, grow and heal from the hand we are dealt. Interestingly, when the internal shifts occurs, you start to see an external shift also. This is called ‘doing the work’.

Understanding that our experiences mould our subconscious is a powerful realisation… it means that we do not have to be the victims of circumstance, but rather the masters of our own minds, bodies and hearts.

However, in order to grow, we must invest… “when the student is ready the teacher will appear”Are you ready? 

We have an incredible timetable ready for you to create your perfect retreat. Including all food from our personal chef, accommodation in the gorgeous Sandhill house and sessions ranging from yoga to meditation, empowerment coaching to relationship coaching, and fitness sessions to breath work and sea dips.

Are you feeling stuck?
Are you living small?
Are you feeling worried and anxious? 
I was!

I was surrounded by people, but still so lonely.
I felt I needed to be small to be accepted, to hide my true self in order to make others happy. 
But it wasn’t working, I was miserable and short tempered with my kids and hubby. I was crying in coffee shops with my friends. Just downright sad and frustrated. 

A precious friend recommended a coach to me. 
I still remember my first appointment like it was yesterday!
I cried most of the session (that’s very normal by the way!).
The main things she told me was, 
“No one is coming to save you”.
I looked at her like ‘WTF!’ 
Then she said these words and I will never forget them ‘you already have everything you need inside yourself’.

I felt such relief and such fear at the same time.
All these years I had been blaming other people for my crap and if they would just change then I wouldn’t feel like I did. 
Turns out it was an inside job.
Now don’t get me wrong it’s work, it’s tears, it’s reprogramming, it’s not easy, it’s lonely sometimes, you will lose friends and family members because they don’t like the change but we can do the hard things I promise.

Come join me in 2023.
Start living your absolute best life that you deserve!
Just a thought… 

An Audience With Me!

Come join me on Tuesday evening in Willows Reach Belfast!
Let educate ourselves on how to have awesome relationships!

Do you know what your human needs are?

What are your human needs?
We talk about human needs being nourishing.
1. Certainty
2. Uncertainty/variety
3. Touch, connection and love
4. Significance
5. Growth
6. Contribution
 If you have a look at these 6 things what do you think is the most important to you?
What do you think is not very important to you?
Once we have decided what’s top of our list then we can figure out why we are frustrated or lonely or low.
It’s no one else’s job to fulfill your human needs it’s our job to fill our human needs. Talk to your person tell them what you think is missing and see if there is anything that they can do to help… help not fix!
Example… “My human need for connection is not being meet, is there anything we can do”.
This all ties in beautifully to our love languages. So maybe that would be a good place for you and your person to start.
Just a thought x

32 Years Ago...

 
I think I started to fall in love with this guy 32 years ago today.
It was Day 2 of our relationship and he ran 3 miles over to see me at 10pm, after BB… (it’s a church thing don’t worry)
We had tea and toast together.
After that he just kept showing up, over and over again. Making me feel special. 💫
He kept his word not giving me any reason to mistrust him.
Having fun, spending time together, falling in love with each other’s weird! 😆
Don’t get me wrong we have had more than our fair share of troubles and things we have had to work at and still do – relationships are a lot of work! 😌
Show up for your person – make them feel special, you won’t regret it.

Let's Talk About Grief

My Dad passed away one year ago. The 27th of July 2021, to be exact.
My Dad had a great life and 87 is a pretty good age to hit.
There are 5 stages of grief.
1. Anger
2. Disbelief
3. Bargaining
4. Sad
5. Acceptance
I’m happy to report that I’m in acceptance.
However, I remember all these feelings/stages so well. Throughout this year they have all shown up for me at different times but knowing that they are normal and natural stages makes it so much easier.
The best lesson I could teach you when it comes to grief is this…
Live your biggest best life!
Life is too short and not one minute should be wasted worrying about what other people think, live from a place of love and acceptance, and live with an open heart.
Nige’s favourite movie is Shawshank Redemption and the quote he loves is, Get busy living or get busy dying.’
Just a thought! 💕
 
 
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